I have a superpower, but it wears me out,

this doesn't mean I'm "bipolar",

er,

Either on top of my anxieties, or underneath my anxieties,

Either my To Do List is manageable, or overwhelming,

Either my relationships (with all people, not just sex partners) are working, or broken,

responsibility vs. pleasure?

yeah, when I no longer fear being by myself for too long, everything opens up ( Read more... )

I have yo-yo relationships with everyone, I can’t be their sole means of support,

same goes for you, planet/universe

[Fuck, this is not "bipolar"]

the neurotic self, the pleasure-planet self,

why have we been kept separate all these years?

probably having to be different people to different people, and now suddenly,

saturated,

saturated,

with Time to Self,

saturated,

we have nobody to talk to but our selves,

but I haven't had a low since he left

what is this strange beast

who amI

whoamI when he's absent

whoamI

he has such wonderful guests, I mean ( Read more... )

Is this why I've constructed my life, to have moments like this moment -- all that goddess damned work turns into a pulsating flower -- and I'm doing the bare minimum for everybody/everything else,

to have a few moments like these,

yeah,

and that's what the billionaires are doing also,

all your damned work, turns into their pulsating flower,

After they both came, I asked them for some time alone in "my" room.  They left and shut the door.  I poured myself another Gatorade cocktail to wash down my "protein" supplement, heh.

It was great fun serving my captors/hosts in such an intensely physical way, sealing my fate as Stockholm Marco, but I'm denied any sexual relief, which feels ( Read more... )